Bored Dead

Today’s instruction

Today’s instructions,….Your Turn, Tag your it…

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1. The reason why our bras don’t always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

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2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.

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3. If we’re watching football with you–it’s not bonding–it’s their butts.

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4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.

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5. Please don’t drive when you’re not driving.

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6. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

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7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn’t ask in bed.

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8. The next time you joke about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of “who’s easy”?

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10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don’t care.

11. When you’re not around, I belch loudly, too.

12. We don’t mind if you look in the mirror to check your appearance — in fact — please do !!!

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13. When you’re out with us, please wear “our” favourite outfit rather than “yours” — the torn jeans and dirty T-Shirt will last longer that way.

14. If you must grunt in reply, please develop a system to indicate a positive vs a negative grunt.

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15. Don’t insist that we “get off the damn phone” and then not talk to us.

16. Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

17. Cleaning the house is not necessarily “women’s work”; besides, most of the “dirt” and clutter is yours anyway.

18. Yes, we know most of the great chefs are men, why is it then you never want to cook?

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19. We go to the Ladies Room in groups to talk about you.

20. Yes, we know you can probably beat us arm wrestling; however, very few raises or promotions were gained by arm wrestling the boss.

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