The Top 15 Exhibits for the Britney Spears Museum

The Top 15 Exhibits for the Britney Spears Museum

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    1. Animatronic diorama depicting Britney at 50 trashing hotel room after failing to get on “Hollywood Squares 2020″ — you’ll swear the vomit is real!
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    1. A retrospective of Christina Aguilera voodoo dolls from the Mouseketeer days to the present
    1. Mrs. Spears’ copy of “500 Annoying Names For Your New Baby, Plus Even More Annoying Alternate Spellings”, 1981 edition
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    1. Photos of Britney with the other Mouseketeers, Britney with Mickey Mouse, Britney with Donald Duck, Britney with… hey, there’s no Disney character named Fred Fleshweasel!
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    1. Pre-surgery bra made into a handy peach holder; post-surgery bra made into a handy cantaloupe holder
    1. Interactive Exhibit: The Spice Girls Virtual Kill and Maim
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    1. Collage of checks made out to dance and voice teachers, stamped “RETURNED FOR INSUFFICIENT TALENT”
    1. Directions on how to get to the museum
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    1. Britney’s vintage music collection, featuring CDs by Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and Paula Abdul
    1. Nostalgic pictures from “the old days” when her Mousketeer ears protruded farther than anything else on her body
    1. The “Oops! You Bought this Crap Again” Gift Shop
    1. Plaques of appreciation from the hand lotion, silicone and facial tissue industries
    1. The Pre-Teen Girls’ Body Image Hall of Mirrors
    1. An eerily life-like wax statue of Britney’s “friend”, Christine Aguilera, who oddly enough dropped out of sight shortly before the museum’s Grand Opening

and the Number 1 Exhibit in the Britney Spears Museum…

    1. A beautifully framed copy of Britney’s first contract, on loan from Satan himself

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Filed Under: Bored Dead, Britney Spears

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