Life’s Thuth’s

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
I bought my wife a new car.
She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.”
I said, “Where’s the car?”
She said, “In the lake.”
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don’t like to interrupt her.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?”asked the friend.
The woman replied, “A billionaire.
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, “I’ve found a woman just like mother!”
His father replied, “So what do you want from me, sympathy?”
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
A man was complaining to a friend: “I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman-then, BAM!, it was all gone!”
“What happened?” asked his friend.
“My wife found out…
Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.