http://www.boreddead.com Just as safe as Sports Illistrated but with twice the Fun Thu, 21 Aug 2008 06:39:09 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en http://www.boreddead.com/paul-hunt-omg.php Paul Hunt gymnastics comedy http://www.boreddead.com/paul-hunt-gymnastics-comedy-beam-routine.php Our US floor Exercise for the 2008 Olympics featured contender (Paul Hunt) gymnastics gymnastics http://www.boreddead.com/us-olympics-contender-floor-exercises.php Tila Tequila Stripping!!! Tila Tequila Stripping!!! http://www.boreddead.com/tila-tequila-stripping.php Tila Tequila Tila Tequila http://www.boreddead.com/hot-rod-ft-tila-tequila-i-like-2-fk.php Tila Tequila Paralyze Official Video Tila Tequila http://www.boreddead.com/tila-tequila-paralyze-official-video.php Tila Tequila - I Love U http://www.boreddead.com/tila-tequila-i-love-u.php Tila Tequila - Hot for Teacher http://www.boreddead.com/tila-tequila-hot-for-teacher.php My girlfriend was giving me a great blowjob last night. Wait a minute she said,you’re married aren’t you. Yes,I replied. Well why doesn’t your wife give you oral sex. Don’t be stupid,that’s the mouth that kisses me goodnight. http://www.boreddead.com/great-blowjob.php How Shit Happens In the beginning was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form. And the Plan was without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. And the workers spoke among themselves, saying, "This is crock of shit, and it stinks." And the Workers ... http://www.boreddead.com/how-shit-happens.php MAGAZINES: Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and shouldn't be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at ... http://www.boreddead.com/men-women-the-difference-2.php Karla Spice Vid, a perfect specimen of a Goddess. Karla Spice fresh and in the Flesh. http://www.boreddead.com/karla-spice-a-latino-goddess.php A lot of folks can't understand how we came to ... http://www.boreddead.com/garfield-on-the-oil-crisis.php Karla Spice Video http://www.boreddead.com/karla-spice-video.php Who could say no to this creature of sexy (Karla spice). Karla Spice video, Karla Spice http://www.boreddead.com/karla-spice.php Female comebacks! Guy:how do you like your eggs in the morning? woman:unfertilized Guy:my place or yours?? Woman: both, I'll go to mine and you'll go to yours! Guy: is this seat empty? Woman: yeah,and this one will be if you sit down! Guy:Hey baby whats your sign? Woman:Do not ... http://www.boreddead.com/female-comebacks.php - Phone sex operators keep hanging up on you. - Fox is starting a new show about you: "America's Least Wanted." - You get a heart-shaped box filled with angry hornets. - The babes just don't seem to ... http://www.boreddead.com/signs-you-are-a-loser-at-love.php Condoms Types (Just for Carl) Get healthy dude... 1. Capmbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmmm, good... 2. Coca Cola Conddoms: the real thing. 3. Diet pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby. 4. Double Mint: Double your pleasure, Double your fun! 5. Energizer: It keeps going and going and going... 6. Ford condoms: the best never ... http://www.boreddead.com/condoms-types.php Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first? Answer: The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions! The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I ... http://www.boreddead.com/blonde-jokes-2.php Man vs woman : Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee ... http://www.boreddead.com/man-vs-woman.php http://www.boreddead.com/holly-crap-party-on-dudes.php - Vibrators don't have problems with gas ... Nor do they hog the remote ... Nor the computer! - We can get a bigger one or one that has better options whenever we want without being called a slut. - ... http://www.boreddead.com/why-vibrators-are-better-than-real-sex.php http://www.boreddead.com/hometown-hotties.php A is for the automobile which he doesn't own. B is also for brain, which was located between his legs. C is for the commitment that was never there. D is for the dildo he ... http://www.boreddead.com/the-abcs-of-ex-lovers.php * Not only is she a little young, but you're sure that you used to date her mother. * You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her. * She has a thicker mustache than ... http://www.boreddead.com/signs-youve-had-a-bad-date-with-a-girl-2.php * Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge. * It takes five minutes to un-knot your bodies. * An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area. * The cat's exhausted ... http://www.boreddead.com/you-know-youve-had-wild-sex-when.php 1. There are even more positions in which you can do nothing. 2. Nothing is free. 3. You can do nothing with anybody, at any time, and nobody will spread nasty rumors about you. 4. You can eat or sleep while you do ... http://www.boreddead.com/why-nothing-is-better-than-sex-2.php Ackmed and his VW http://www.boreddead.com/banned-vw-commercial.php 1. No repetitive-stress injuries. 2. Knocks out insomnia faster than two tabs of Tylenol PM and a Bud tallboy. 3. Two words: less sweat. 4. On deadline? No problem! 5. Saves on batteries. 6. No guilt associated with sayin gee, "I ... http://www.boreddead.com/20-reasons-why-a-quickie-beats-marathon-sex.php Gender: Female Birthplace: San Fransico, California Birthday: 4-10-1983 Birth Name: Jamie Lynn Chung http://www.boreddead.com/jamie-chung.php Tila Tequila Tila Tequila was born and started her career as Tila Nguyen. After a few very successful photo shoots in the Import Racing scene, she ventured into more adult stuff with shoots for Playboy magazine and so on. Tila Nguyen was born in Singapore where her family fled to after the ... http://www.boreddead.com/tila-tequila-sexy-bikini-dance.php Ashley "Spitzer-Girl" Dupre Girls Gone Wild Video http://www.boreddead.com/ashley-spitzer-girl-dupre-girls-gone-wild-video.php I saw this and just had to share, this is just fantastic! http://www.boreddead.com/f22-raptor-air-demo.php Attention all Heterosexual Men! Are you disillusioned by your lifestyle? Do you want more from life besides monster truck shows? Do Budweiser commercials confuse you? Are you tired of being a year behind in fashion? Do you wish you had a nice apartment ... http://www.boreddead.com/do-you-need-a-lifestyle-change.php THIS IS NOT THE 'DON'T BUY' GAS FOR ONE DAY, BUT IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW WE CAN GET GAS BACK DOWN TO $1.30 PER GALLON. This was sent by a retired Coca Cola executive. It came from one of ... http://www.boreddead.com/this-may-actually-be-worth-a-trygas-prices.php *A clitoris is a type of flower. * A pubic hair is a wild rabbit. * "Spread eagle" is an extinct bird. * Vagina is a medical term used to describe a heart attack. * A menstrual cycle has three wheels. * ... http://www.boreddead.com/you-probably-flunked-sex-education-if-you-think.php - You keep the ACE Hardware catalog with your other pornography. - You were always disappointed that the book Of Human Bondage wasn't. - Sticks & stones may break your bones, but that's an acceptable risk. - You read Andrea ... http://www.boreddead.com/you-know-youre-kinky-when.php A fortyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?? What's the matter with you?" The woman continues to bounce on ... http://www.boreddead.com/jumping-on-the-bed.php   Facts for Summer Glau Summer’s biography in short. Full name: Summer Lyn Glau Date of birth: 24th July 1981 Place of birth: San Antonio, Texas, USA Current residence: Los Angeles Starsign: Leo Hair colour: Brown Eye colour: Brown Height: 5′ 8″ (1.73 m) Siblings: Two younger sisters MOVIES 2006 The Initiation of Sarah 2006 ... http://www.boreddead.com/summer-lyn-glau-from-terminator-the-sarah-connor-chronicles.php Q: How do you scare a man? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? A: Women working at 900 numbers. Q: Where is the best place in a book ... http://www.boreddead.com/q-and-a-for-men.php Hilary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to find out that she is pregnant. She is furious and can't believe this has happened. She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone, and immediately begins to berate him, screaming: "How ... http://www.boreddead.com/hilarys-pregnant.php     What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed ? Hit me baby one more time.     Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, had a baby last week and they want to thank everyone for all the gifts they received. Apparently, the baby has everything he needs except a father with a ... http://www.boreddead.com/britney-spears-jokes-part-2.php be wearing platforms be wearing flares has one of those fake-ass voices on the phone carries a big-ass purse carries hella pictures of her homies in the purse knows everybody in town thinks she knows about cars, but ... http://www.boreddead.com/if-an-asian-girl-was-really-asian-she.php 1. You love to go to $1.75 movies. 2. You love to go to $1.50 movies even more! 3. You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch. 4. You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer. 5. You can ... http://www.boreddead.com/ways-of-asians.php Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks. Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy ... http://www.boreddead.com/america-needs-a-leader-like-this.php Resimay Deer Sir, I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting. I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam ... http://www.boreddead.com/resimay.php Is Britney Spears crazy or just addicted or in need of more attention. Could it be addiction or just affliction. Here you have the many faces of Sexy, crazy, possibly addicted Britney Spears part one . ... http://www.boreddead.com/the-many-faces-of-britney-spears-part-1.php Nature has many laws that hold fast and true. For example, a baby ape will always grow-up to be an ape; likewise, a baby baboon will become an adult baboon. A baby pig will mature into a full grown pig. A baby jackass will always become a jackass. A puppy quickly matures into ... http://www.boreddead.com/natures-laws-on-men.php 1. we are unbelievably flexible 2.we can perform in practically every position 3.we have perfect technique, good rythm, and great hip rotation 4.we are used to wearing very little clothing 5.we know how to use others equipment to our advantage 6.we dont mind getting all hot and ... http://www.boreddead.com/top-reasons-to-date-a-contortionist.php 1. we’re always open to new moves & positions 2. we perform to please the crowd 3. we love an audience 4. we’re very flexible 5. we show off our legs 6. we’re tight...physically fit 7. we’re seductive 8. we like being videotaped to improve ourselves 9. we work hard ... http://www.boreddead.com/12-reasons-to-date-a-dancer.php With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s society... DIRECTRA -- a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they ... http://www.boreddead.com/with-viagra-such-a-hit.php Cover your stump before you hump. This ones for you Carl Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper. Don’t be silly, protect your willy. When in doubt, shroud your spout. Don’t be a loner, cover your boner. You can’t go wrong if you shield your dong. If you’re ... http://www.boreddead.com/condom-quotes.php 1. Whine 2. When asked if something is bothering you, you reply no. Then get mad when you are believed. 3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him and immediately expect him to stop this behavior. 4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare ... http://www.boreddead.com/sure-fire-ways-to-know-youre-a-woman-2.php   Love, Lust, or Marriage? How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married?LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.LOVE - When intercourse ... http://www.boreddead.com/love-lust-or-marriage.php Your Diet ----- For those of you who watch what you eat... Here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot ... http://www.boreddead.com/your-diet.php Things Not To Say To Your Parents While At College... Are you saying that I'm not good enough for Jack-in-the-Box? Hey dad, are there any openings at your office? I'm converting! I'm coming out of the closet! Just kidding...hello? hello, anyone there? I don't know, I think a nipple ring is very ... http://www.boreddead.com/things-not-to-say-to-your-parents-while-at-college.php You must be sick of making the same resolutions year after year and yet you never keep them? Here are some resolutions that you can actually accomplish! 10. Read less. 9. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. 8. Stop exercising. ... http://www.boreddead.com/newyears-resolutions-you-can-keep.php Airline Dictionary The airline industry, like any other, has a specialized dictionary. These are words and phrases that are used commonly by airline employees for which the meanings may not be obvious to outsiders. At great personal risk on an undercover sting operation, I was able to procure this dictionary. ... http://www.boreddead.com/airline-dictionary.php Today's instructions,....Your Turn, Tag your it... 1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear. 2. The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet ... http://www.boreddead.com/todays-instruction.php Coffee is better than Women. Why Coffee Is Better Than Women: ~ Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have some. ~ You won't get arrested for trying to buy coffee at 3 AM. ~ Coffee never runs out. ~ No ... http://www.boreddead.com/coffee-is-better-than-women.php Answers To Everything What's the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand ... http://www.boreddead.com/answers-to-everything.php BLONDE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN? A: Because she didn't know which one came first! Q: How can you confuse a blonde? A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.   Q: How do blonde brain cells die? A: ... http://www.boreddead.com/questions-and-answers.php She Ain't Easy - But ...          And Yes Carl I know she is your Favorite !!!!!!!!! She's been on her knees more times than Billy Graham. She's been laid on more kitchen floors than linoleum. She's done more screwing than Black and Decker. She's responsible for more merry ... http://www.boreddead.com/she-aint-easy-but.php You'll Like these... http://www.boreddead.com/when-plants-go-bad.php Be Politically Correct With Women She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED. She is not CONCEITED - She is ... http://www.boreddead.com/be-politically-correct-with-women.php Sure Fire Ways To Know You're A Woman 1. Whine2. When asked if something is bothering you, you reply no. Then get mad when you are believed. 3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him and immediately expect him to stop this behavior. ... http://www.boreddead.com/sure-fire-ways-to-know-youre-a-woman.php Perfect Woman What the perfect woman should say ...1. I'll swallow it all... I love the taste! 2. Are you sure you've had enough to drink? 3. I'm bored... Let's shave my pussy! 4. Oh come on, whadya say we get a good porno movie, ... http://www.boreddead.com/perfect-woman.php Sexual Olympics A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or bronze. "Silver," she said. "Why not gold?" "Because I want you to come second for once!" http://www.boreddead.com/sexual-olympics.php THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST What am I doing wrong? Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know ... http://www.boreddead.com/this-appeared-on-craigs-list.php THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to ... http://www.boreddead.com/yes-i-want-to-have-mad-sex-with-you.php A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the ... http://www.boreddead.com/birthday.php For some reason covering Britney Spears we are just at a loss for words. So sit back and enjoy the out of control lifestyle of Ms. Britney Spears http://www.boreddead.com/britney-spears-need-we-say-more.php OJ Simpson Jokes 1. Q: How do we know that Thurman Thomas didn't kill O.J.'s ex-wife? A: Thurman would have fumbled the knife. 2. O.J. was the first running back to run 2000 yards and the first murderer to run 2000 miles! 3. B oy B oy B oy I I t I L ove L ooks ... http://www.boreddead.com/oj-simpson.php What is a 1031 Tax Exchange? If you invest in real estate (a rather popular pursuit in this day and age), you’ve likely come across the phenomenon of the 1031 exchange. (Or, if you haven’t, you’re frantically trying to figure out what exactly one is and what it can do for ... http://www.boreddead.com/1031-tax-exchange.php Britney Cried Over VMAs Performance Pop star Britney Spears allegedly was "inconsolable" after watching her widely criticized comeback performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. Spears kicked off proceedings at the Las Vegas event on Sunday with her new single, "Gimme More." But the performance was viewed by many as a disaster -- ... http://www.boreddead.com/britney-spears-cried-over-vmas.php