Sex Definitions

YOU KNOW YOU’VE HAD WILD SEX WHEN..

April 26, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

* Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
* It takes five minutes to un-knot your bodies.

* An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area.

* The cat’s exhausted from just watching [...]

WHY NOTHING IS BETTER THAN SEX

April 23, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

1. There are even more positions in which you can do nothing.
2. Nothing is free.

3. You can do nothing with anybody, at any time, and nobody will spread nasty rumors about you.

4. You can eat or sleep while you do nothing, [...]

YOU PROBABLY FLUNKED SEX EDUCATION IF YOU THINK…

March 14, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

*A clitoris is a type of flower.

* A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.

* “Spread eagle” is an extinct bird.

* Vagina is a medical term used to describe a heart attack.

* A menstrual cycle has three wheels.

* A G-string is part of [...]

Condom Quotes

January 21, 2008 by Jeff · 2 Comments 

Cover your stump before you hump.
This ones for you Carl
Before you attack her, wrap your wrapper.

Don’t be silly, protect your willy.

When in doubt, shroud your spout.

Don’t be a loner, cover your boner.

You can’t go wrong if you shield your dong.

If you’re not going to sack it, [...]

Sex Definitions

April 6, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

Sex in a boat = Oargasms
Sex with a nerd = Dorkgasms
Sex at the entrance to your house = Doorgasms
Sex on the carpet or linoleum = Floorgasms
Sex at the supermarket = Storegasms
Sex with wild pigs = Boargasms
Sex at a Stephen King movie = Horrorgasms
Sex with a prostitue = Whoregasms
Sex with a storyteller = Loregasms
Sex [...]