SIGNS YOU’VE HAD A BAD DATE WITH A GIRL

Author: admin  //  Category: Better To Be Female, Bored Dead, Girl talk, QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS, Sexy Jokes

boreddeadcom-signs-of-a-bad-date.jpg* Not only is she a little young, but you’re sure that you used to date her mother.

* You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her.

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* She has a thicker mustache than you.

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* When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions.

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* You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole.

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* Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system.

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* You walk away from her front door with the roses you got her shoved up your ass.

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* You are the first guy that she’s gone out with that isn’t her cousin.

* At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic.

* She beats the crap out of some guy for making fun of your hair cut.

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* You wake up the next morning with a wicked hang-over. In the bed next to you is Janet Reno.

* At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill.

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* You wake up to find your loins covered with purple and green spots, with an intense itching in your left thigh.

* She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet Satan.

* She is better hung than you.

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* She constantly complains that her cat won’t stop laughing at her.

* She informs you that you can’t go out again because her spirit guide doesn’t like you.

* She informs you that you can’t go out again because her boyfriend doesn’t like you.

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QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

Author: admin  //  Category: Bored Dead, Girl talk, Inner Blonde, Interesting, QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

BLONDE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

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Q: Why couldn’t the blonde write the number ELEVEN?
A: Because she didn’t know which one came first!

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Q: How can you confuse a blonde?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.

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Q: What did the blondes right leg say to her left leg?
A: Nothing, they never met.

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Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can’t fetch a beer from the fridge.

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Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Because the blondes couldn’t manage it either.

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Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A Golden retriever!

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Q: What do you get when you ask a blonde, a penny for your thoughts?
A: Change!

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Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know which day of the week it is.

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Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won’t follow you around for a week!

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Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?
A: They heard that under seventeen weren’t admitted!

Q: What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have a black box.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she’s pregnant.

Q: Why did the Blonde get fired at the M & M factory?
A: She threw out all the W’s