This blog is about many things, there are a lot of other things about this blog that you might not have known about. Read around for more information.
Itsy bitsy Dissolving bikini comes with no strings attached. The saucy thong swimsuit looks like a real bikini but disappears after just a few seconds in water.
Trailer Dissolvable Bikini: does it work? from Clint.be on Vimeo.
Dissolving bikini
Bounce Baby
Bounce Baby Bounce
Attention all Heterosexual Men!
Are you disillusioned by your lifestyle? Do you want more from life besides monster truck shows? Do Budweiser commercials confuse you? Are you tired of being a year behind in fashion? Do you wish you had a nice apartment like the ones you see on “Will & Grace”?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Act now, and you’ll be on your way to living a fabulous, glamorous life as a HOMOSEXUAL! We are now recruiting heterosexual men ages.
18-65 (please no older than 65 — that’s just creepy) to become homosexuals.
Let us assist you in your transformation from bland to beautiful! We’ll give you all the steps you’ll need to be a happy fairy, such as:
* Drag make-up tips!
* How to have sex with a man WITHOUT the six pack of beer!
* How to decorate with frills and throw pillows to brighten up any room!
* Essential Madonna and Cher records to own
* That tongue trick invented circa 1978 in some alley in NYC
* Ricky Martin’s fan club address
* Style and grooming tips NO self respecting gay would be without (hope you’re not too attached to that uni-brow)
* How to wear a G-string with poise and dignity (we’ll insert a few bucks to get you started)
* Finger-snapping lessons, and a dialect coach to assist in “gaylingo”
* Learn important historical dates, like: the year Donna Summer won her first Grammy, Barbra’s wedding anniversary, and the day Judy died!
ACT NOW AND YOU’LL RECEIVE A CLOSET DOOR HINGE TO SYMBOLIZE YOUR FREEDOM!
Don’t delay any longer! Do you want to have more women hanging off you than when you were straight? Aren’t you tired of the snickers whenever you walk into a room? Call 1-800-976-HOMO to BEGIN YOUR LIFE AS A FABULOUS FAG!!! Call today. Operators are standing by.
A fortyish woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight.
Her husband watches her for a while and asks, “Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?? What’s the matter with you?”
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, “I don’t care… I just came from having a mammogram and the Doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old.”
The husband said,? “What did he say about your 46 year old ass?”
“Your name never came up,”? She replied.
Deer Sir,
I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real
quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.
I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really
seam to respond to me well.
Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited
I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my
persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and
wat you think that I am werth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.
Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings
PS : Because my resimay is a bit short – below is a pickture of me.
Employer’s response:……
.
Dear Peggy May,
.
.
It’s OK honey, we’ve got spell check
Things Not To Say To Your Parents While At College…
Good Advertising, Great creativity
E-mail us At (Admin@BoredDead.com) to submit you own pics .
if the pics are taking a long time to load,try testing your internet speed for free Here
Are you normal?
- Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
- 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
- Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
- 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
- 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
- 91% lie regularly, so you can just throw away statistics like these based on their answers *grin*
- 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.
- 29% admit they’ve intentionally stolen something from a store.
- 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
- 90% believe in divine retribution (but apparently not for lying)
- 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
- 82% believe in an afterlife.
- 45% believe in ghosts.
- 13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.
- 29% are virgins when they marry.
- 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren’t.
- 10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.
- Over 50% believe in spanking – but only a child over 2 years old.
- 35% give to charity at least once a month.
- How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends, family, and church. 7% would murder.
- 69% eat the cake before the frosting.
- When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
- Snickers is the most popular candy.
- 22% of us skip lunch daily.
- 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
- 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.
- Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
- 45% use mouthwash every day.
- 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
- The typical shower is 101 degrees F.
- Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.
- 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
- 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
- 58% of women paint their nails regularly.
- 33% of women lie about their weight.
- 10% claim to have seen a ghost.
- 57% have had deja vu.
- 49% believe in ESP.
- 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.
- 44% have broken a bone.
- 14% have attended a self-help meeting.
- 15% regularly go to a shrink.
- 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.
- 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they’ve used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up. What’s up?
- 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
- 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
- 28.1% pee in the pool. Think about that next time you go swimming!
- 39% of us peek in our host’s bathroom cabinet. 17% have been caught by the host… whoops, “uh.. just looking for the uh…”
- 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip it (his pants).
- 71.6% of us eavesdrop.
- 22% are functionally illiterate. [Reminds me of the lady who said, "My son ain't illiterate. We was married two weeks before he was born!"]
- Less than 10% are trilingual.
- 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
- 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
- 56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
- 2 out of 3 of us wouldn’t give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks. Now, make it TWO million and half the night… : )
- 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.
- 40% of us have had music lessons.
- 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch.
- 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
- 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary, mostly men, (and they say statistics don’t lie. See 91% Americans lie regularly for details. Yeah, we know the rest of you men just
have wives who TELL you the anniversary is coming up!)
- 59% of us say we’re average-looking.
- Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful.
- 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.
- 53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.
- 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.
- 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
- On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
- 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.
- 2 out of 5 have married their first love.
- The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money.
- Only 4% asked the parents’ approval for their bride’s hand.
- 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
- 6% propose over the phone, [but that includes only of those who were accepted over the phone, not those who were hung up on]
- 71% can drive a stick-shift car.
- 45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit. [Must be the over 55 crowd : ) ]
- 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.
- 1/3 of us don’t wear seat belts.
- 12% of men never use their car blinkers.
- 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.
- 25% drive after they’ve been drinking.
- 4 out of 5 sing in the car.
- 1 in 3 have had an extramarital affair.
- 62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs
If Men wrote advice columns, The world would be a better place. If Men wrote advice columns, There would be no arguments. If Men wrote advice columns, There would be only bliss. Take a look at some sample advice columns already written.
“PERSONAL” ADVERTISEMENTS
GUIDE TO TRANSLATING “PERSONAL” ADVERTISEMENTS
Independent Thinker . . . . . . . Crazy.
High-Spirited . . . . . . . . . Crazy, hyperactive, and throws things.
Free-Spirited . . . . . . . . . Crazy and irresponsible.
Ample . . . . . . . . . . . . . Large.
Huggable . . . . . . . . . . . . Large.
Zaftig . . . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY Large.
Fat and Sassy . . . . . . . . . Large and loudmouthed.
Slender . . . . . . . . . . . . Skinny.
Svelte . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anorexic.
Petite (I am). . . . . . . . . . Short.
Petite (you are) . . . . . . . . Size 2.
Dynamic . . . . . . . . . . . . Pushy.
Assertive . . . . . . . . . . . Pushy with a mean streak.
Excited About Life’s Journey . . No concept of reality.
Moody . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive.
Unpredictable . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and off medication.
Soulful . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and quiet.
Poetic . . . . . . . . . . . . . Manic-depressive and boring.
Looking for Mr/Ms Right. . . . . Looking for Mr/Ms Rich.
Very Human . . . . . . . . . . . Quasimodo.
Uninhibited . . . . . . . . . . Lacking basic social skills.
Irreverent . . . . . . . . . . . Mean and lacking basic social skills.
Aging Child . . . . . . . . . . Self-centered adult.
Freedom-loving . . . . . . . . . Undependable.
Young at Heart . . . . . . . . . Over 40.
Youthful . . . . . . . . . . . . Over 50 and in major denial.
Chatty . . . . . . . . . . . . . Never shuts up.
Humorous . . . . . . . . . . . . Watches too much TV and never shuts up.
Financially secure (I am). . . . Has a job.
Financially secure (you are) . . Rich.
Affectionate . . . . . . . . . . Horny.
Romantic . . . . . . . . . . . . Horny.
Passionate . . . . . . . . . . . REALLY horny.