Sexy Jokes
liquid Form Viagra
August 28, 2009 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this [...]
SIGNS YOU’VE HAD A BAD DATE WITH A GIRL
May 2, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
* Not only is she a little young, but you’re sure that you used to date her mother.
* You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little league with her.
* She has a thicker mustache than you.
* When you go [...]
YOU KNOW YOU’VE HAD WILD SEX WHEN..
April 26, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
* Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
* It takes five minutes to un-knot your bodies.
* An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area.
* The cat’s exhausted from just watching [...]
WHY NOTHING IS BETTER THAN SEX
April 23, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1. There are even more positions in which you can do nothing.
2. Nothing is free.
3. You can do nothing with anybody, at any time, and nobody will spread nasty rumors about you.
4. You can eat or sleep while you do nothing, [...]
20 REASONS WHY A QUICKIE BEATS MARATHON SEX
April 6, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1. No repetitive-stress injuries.
2. Knocks out insomnia faster than two tabs of Tylenol PM and a Bud tallboy.
3. Two words: less sweat.
4. On deadline? No problem!
5. Saves on batteries.
6. No guilt associated with sayin
gee, “I think it’s time for [...]
YOU PROBABLY FLUNKED SEX EDUCATION IF YOU THINK…
March 14, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
*A clitoris is a type of flower.
* A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
* “Spread eagle” is an extinct bird.
* Vagina is a medical term used to describe a heart attack.
* A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
* A G-string is part of [...]
Classes for men at your local adult learning center
July 27, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Classes for men at your local adult learning center
Sign up now!
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.
Topic 1 – How to fill up the ice cube trays.
A step by step guide, with slide presentation for men only.
Topic 2 – [...]
Men and Women
June 28, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
· Why don’t men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!
· Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads?
When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, “I don’t know.”
When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, “Ohhhhhh.”
· Why are vibrators better [...]
10 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
June 27, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
10 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
and yes Carl this one is a Good One !
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long [...]
Rules that Guys Wish Women Knew
June 24, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Rules that Guys Wish Women Knew
1. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it’s up put it down.
2. Do not cut your hair. Ever.
3. Sometimes, he is not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Get rid of your cat.
5. Sunday = Sports.
6. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us.
7. [...]
Bad Date Signs!
June 20, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Bad Date Signs!
Not only is she a little young, but you’re sure that you used to date
her mother.
…You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little
league with her.
…She has a thicker moustache than you.
…When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract [...]
Dating rules for college
June 13, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Dating rules for college
1. In an imaginary world a kiss would signify the end of sexual
tension and the beginning of a relationship. In college, it means
somebody’s horny.
2. In an imaginary world, “I really like spending time with you,”
and “you’re cool,” mean I REALLY like spending time with you and
you ARE cool. In college, it [...]
Stages of Drunkenness
June 4, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Stages of Drunkenness
Stage 1 – SMART
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very [...]
Real Friends
May 1, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Are you tired of those asinine “friendship” poems with decent intentions, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here’s a collection of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
1. When you are sad – I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you [...]
Viagra
January 3, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Top Ten Slogans Being Considered by Viagra
10. “Viagra. The quicker dicker upper”
9. “Here’s the beef!”
8. “Get a piece of the rock”
7. “You’ve come a long way, baby”
6. “Viagra, it plumps when you take ‘em”
5. “Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman”
4 .”Tastes great, more filling”
3.”Viagra, built ram tough”
2. “Just do her”
1.”This is [...]
