Bored Dead

Redneck Dictionary submission

def.-gynecologist
Man-”honey, did ya go to the box doctor yet?
Woman- Im’a gyna- -call a-gist as soon as we git home.

def. -ovarian
Jed- Where’s yer wife?
Clyde- She’s over-ian the shed.

Mayionasse: mayionasse alot of people ’round here

Snasty: man come here and smell this this snasty!
Innuendo: hey! i saw a bird fly innuendo
Rnk: you can spell Rnk but you’d have to buy a vowel to do it
Junior: junior friends want to join us?
Senior: you should have senior face

Ya might be a redneck if …..

you get your nipple bitten off by a beaver
you think the last four words of the national anthem are” gentlemen start your engines!”
you think a 401k is your mother in law’s bra size
your honeymoon was featured on ” true stories of the highway patrol”
your tan lines can be seen from arial photos
you drink then puke and your dog drinks it
you send your fan mail to the home shopping channel
you lave lard sandwiches
the property downwind from yours is worth nothing

What do you call a erdneck that can’t speak? an angry chimpmunk
What do you call a redneck that can’t swim? bait