Dating rules for college

1. In an imaginary world a kiss would signify the end of sexual
tension and the beginning of a relationship. In college, it means
somebody’s horny.

2. In an imaginary world, “I really like spending time with you,”
and “you’re cool,” mean I REALLY like spending time with you and
you ARE cool. In college, it means “will you fuck me?”

3. In an imaginary world, holding hands is the first sign of true
love, in college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their
own.

4. In an imaginary world the guy buys dinner and a movie and
kisses you goodnight at your front door. In college, there is no
such thing as a dinner and a movie and at the end of a date, most
guys want a hell of lot more that a kiss goodnight.

5. In an imaginary world, men aren’t afraid to admit their
feelings. In college, if you ask them what they want or why they
kissed you they respond, “Why do you think?” Refer to number one
for definition.

6. In an imaginary world, sleepovers are sleepovers. Just that.
In college it’s a fuckfest or pretty close to it.

7. In an imaginary world the guy might call you the day after. In
college, you’re lucky if he acknowledges your presence when you
walk by. Or if they do call back, refer to number one again, for
the reason.

8. In an imaginary world even gorgeous guys are nice. In college,
cute guys are asses, unattractive men are desparate, and nice
guys finish last.

9. In an imaginary world, sex is sacred and special. In college,
it happens every night between drunk strangers, who don’t even
know each others names. IT ALWAYS SEEMS MEANINGLESS TO AT LEAST
ONE OF THE PARTNERS!

10. In an imaginary world, men have only one girl, chickie, babe,
woman. In college, you ARE the only one, except for, Jodi, Jean,
Alisha, Sara, Laura, Liz, Christy, Carrie, Jen, Mary, Katie,
Jocelyn, Lynda, Alyssa, Jessica, Cory, Rachel, Heather…

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