Bored Dead

Boats better than women

Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women:

Boats only need their fluids changed every year.
Boats curves never sag.
Boats last longer.
Boats don’t get pregnant.

You can ride a Boat any time of the month.
Boats don’t have parents.
Boats don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
You can share your Boat with your friends.

If your Boat makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
You only need to get a new belt for your Boat when the old one is really worn.
If your Boat smokes, you can do something about it.
Boats don’t care about how many other Boats you have ridden.
When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time.

Boats don’t care about how many other Boats you have.
Boats don’t mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines.
If your Boat is misaligned, you don’t have to discuss politics to correct it.
You can have a beer while riding your Boat.

You don’t have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat.
You don’t have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Boat.
You don’t have to convince your Boat that you’re a Boater and that you think that all Boats are equals.
If you say bad things to your Boat, you don’t have to apologize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won’t get sore.
Your parents don’t remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it.
Boats always feel like going for a ride.
Boats don’t insult you if you are a bad boater.
Boats don’t care if you are late.
You don’t have to take a shower before riding your Boat.
It’s always ok to use tie downs on your Boats.
If your Boat doesn’t look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
You can’t get diseases from a Boat you don’t know very well.

A Fishermans Philosophy

A sure way to get a bite on a slow day is:

Talk about changing spots

Prepare another rod while one is out

Lay your rod down unsecured

Go for a sandwich

Start to pull the boat anchor

Use the worst fly you own

Crack open your first beer

Crack open your last beer

Take notice of the chick on a passing boat, bank or beach

Watch others fishing

Start reeling in your lines at going home time

Give your fishing rod to a female companion or child to hold

When your landing net is out of reach

When you have cast your line over an obstruction

When you line has drifted into impossible weeds

When you turn to look at the sunrise or sunset

Decide that you need to take a leak

If you like to fish Take a Look at LuckyAngler

Why fishing is better than sex….

You don’t have to hide your fishing magazines.

It’s perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish withyou once in
a while.

Your fishing partner doesn’t get upset about people youfished with long
ago.

It’s perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.

When you see a really good fisher person, you don’t have tofeel guilty
about imagining the two of you fishing in boat together.

If your regular fishing partner isn’t available, he/she won’t object if you fish with someone else.

Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish
by yourself.

You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell fishing
jokes, and invite co-workers to fish with you with out getting sued for
harassment.

There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.

If you want to watch fishing on television, you don’t have
to subscribe to the Playboy channel.

Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the
rest of your life.

Your fishing partner will never say, “Not again? We just
fished last week!

Is fishing all you ever think about?