Drinking

DRINKING GUIDE

March 4, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

DRINKING GUIDE

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.

FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.

ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward

the ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.

FAULT: Glass empty.

ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent [...]

When Girls Drink Too Much!!

February 14, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

When Girls Drink Too Much!!
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1.) I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS.
2.) I BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH MY ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING MY BUTT WHILE YELLING “WOO-HOO!” IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3.) I’VE SUDDENLY DECIDED I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE’S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.
4.) [...]

BAR ROOM TRANSLATIONS

January 22, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

BAR ROOM TRANSLATIONS
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* “You get this one, next round is on me.” (We won’t be here long enough to get another round.)
* “I’ll get this one, next one is on you.” (Happy hour is about to end…drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they’ll be $4.50 a pop.)
* “Hey, where is [...]

Robot Bartender

January 4, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

Robot Bartender

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he
noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention
and asked, “Sir, what will you have?”
The man thought a moment then replied? “A martini please.”
The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the [...]

Downside to Happy Hour

November 13, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

You lose arguments with inanimate objectsÂ

Your job is interfering with your drinking. Â
-Youre doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. -Career won’t progress beyond the court. Â
-You sincerely believe alcohol to be to elusive 5th food group. -Two hands and just one mouth – becoming a huge problem.  [...]

Drinker’s Alphabet

November 11, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment 

Drinker’s Alphabet
(Click in inlarge)
A is for Alcohol :The key to surviving college

B is for Beer :The most disgusting alcohol of all, but great for chugging

C is for Class :What you’re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party

D is for Dancing :A favorite pastime [...]