1. we are unbelievably flexible
2.we can perform in practically every position

3.we have perfect technique, good rythm, and great hip rotation

4.we are used to wearing very little clothing

5.we know how to use others equipment to our advantage

6.we dont mind getting all hot and sweaty

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7.regular splits are for gymnists and dancers… its called over stretching!
8.we love to perform
9. practice makes perfect and when we are perfect we still want to do
better

10. we’re not as delicate and fragile as we look

11. we’re used to having bruises on our knees
12.we’re always open to new moves & positions
13.karma sutra is for amatures

Bad Date Signs!

Not only is she a little young, but you’re sure that you used to date
her mother.

…You find out her real name is Vinnie, and you used to play little
league with her.

…She has a thicker moustache than you.

…When you go to pick her up, her lawyer meets you at the door with a contract describing your duties and restrictions.

…You jokingly ask her if she wants to go down to Atlantic City and get married. She then informs you that leaving the state is a violation of her parole.

…Her bra and panties are wired to an alarm system.

…You are the first guy that she’s gone out with that isn’t her cousin.

…At the end of the night she gives you a coupon that is good for a free shot of penicillin at the nearest clinic.

…She beats up some guy for making fun of your hair cut.

…You wake up the next morning with a wicked hang-over. In the bed next to you is Janet Reno.

…At the end of the night, you drop her off at her house, and her pimp is waiting there with your bill.

…She keeps staring at you all through dinner, then finally asks if you want to meet satan.

…She constantly complains that her cat won’t stop laughing at her.

…She informs you that you can’t go out again because her spirit guide doesn’t like you.

…She informs you that you can’t go out again because her boyfriend doesn’t like you.

Dating rules for college

1. In an imaginary world a kiss would signify the end of sexual
tension and the beginning of a relationship. In college, it means
somebody’s horny.

2. In an imaginary world, “I really like spending time with you,”
and “you’re cool,” mean I REALLY like spending time with you and
you ARE cool. In college, it means “will you fuck me?”

3. In an imaginary world, holding hands is the first sign of true
love, in college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their
own.

4. In an imaginary world the guy buys dinner and a movie and
kisses you goodnight at your front door. In college, there is no
such thing as a dinner and a movie and at the end of a date, most
guys want a hell of lot more that a kiss goodnight.

5. In an imaginary world, men aren’t afraid to admit their
feelings. In college, if you ask them what they want or why they
kissed you they respond, “Why do you think?” Refer to number one
for definition.

6. In an imaginary world, sleepovers are sleepovers. Just that.
In college it’s a fuckfest or pretty close to it.

7. In an imaginary world the guy might call you the day after. In
college, you’re lucky if he acknowledges your presence when you
walk by. Or if they do call back, refer to number one again, for
the reason.

8. In an imaginary world even gorgeous guys are nice. In college,
cute guys are asses, unattractive men are desparate, and nice
guys finish last.

9. In an imaginary world, sex is sacred and special. In college,
it happens every night between drunk strangers, who don’t even
know each others names. IT ALWAYS SEEMS MEANINGLESS TO AT LEAST
ONE OF THE PARTNERS!

10. In an imaginary world, men have only one girl, chickie, babe,
woman. In college, you ARE the only one, except for, Jodi, Jean,
Alisha, Sara, Laura, Liz, Christy, Carrie, Jen, Mary, Katie,
Jocelyn, Lynda, Alyssa, Jessica, Cory, Rachel, Heather…

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