· It was so cold . . .
we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
• It was so cold…
hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
• It was so cold…
roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
• It was so cold . . .
when I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!
• It was so cold . . .
the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
• It was so cold . . .
kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pyjamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
• It was so cold . . .
the travel agency was advertising tropical vacations in Igloolik!
• It was so cold . . .
pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm!
• It was so cold . . .
the squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!
• It was so cold . . .
I chipped a tooth on my soup!
• It was so cold . . .
Grandpa’s teeth were chattering – in the glass!
• It was so cold . . .
the dogs were wearing cats!
• It was so cold . . .
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
• It was so cold . . .
Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans!
• It was so cold . . .
the rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.
• It was so cold . . .
we had to chop up the piano for firewood – but we only got two chords.
• It was so cold . . .
we had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our parkas!
• It was so cold…
kids stopped worrying about acne. The new problem – goosepimples!
• It was so cold . . .
when we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows – we got chocolate ice cream!
• It was so cold . . .
words froze in the air. If you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire!
**for our buds up north**