Britney Spears Cried Over VMAs

Britney Cried Over VMAs Performance

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Pop star Britney Spears allegedly was “inconsolable” after watching her widely criticized comeback performance at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Spears kicked off proceedings at the Las Vegas event on Sunday with her new single, “Gimme More.”

But the performance was viewed by many as a disaster — not least, it seems, by the troubled star herself.

A backstage source tells Us Weekly, “She was able to see video of herself throughout the auditorium. She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling, ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!’ She was inconsolable.”

http://www.sfgate.com

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Britney Spears blows at MTV awards

September 10, 2007

Las Vegas – Britney Spears screwed up her comeback attempt at the MTV Video Music Awards Sunday night in Las Vegas as she looked overweight and drunk in her performance.

Britney seemed distracted and nervous throughout her new single, Gimme More.

Wearing nothing but a sparkly black bikini, Britney wasn’t a bad girl, she was just bad.

Spears lip-synched, and bounced around the stage in sparkly underwear.

Spears looked drunk and unprepared as she walked through her dance moves with little enthusiasm. She appeared to have forgotten her lines toward the end of the show.

Celebrities at the show were not impressed. Rapper 50 Cent looked at Spears with a confused look on his face, Diddy was expressionless.

The show’s host even ripped her. Sarah Silverman didn’t spare Spears in her opening monologue, saying, “She is 25 years old, and she has already accomplished everything she is going to accomplish in life.”

Silverman even got in a dig at Brit’s baby boys, Sean Preston and Jayden James, calling them “the cutest mistakes you’ve ever seen.”

http://alaskareport.com/news907/z46651_britney_mtv.htm

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Britney Jokes

  • Britney’s so dumb that she stands on a street corner with a bag of chips yelling free lays
  • Q:How do you know if Britney has been at your computer? A: There’s white out all over the screen
  • Q.There’s a Santa Claus, a tooth fairy,a smart britney and a dumb britney walking down the street. they see a dollar. who picks it up? A:the dumb britney because theirs no such thing as Santa claus a tooth fairy or a smart britney spears
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  • Q: Why did Britney jump off the building? A: She thought her maxi pads had wings
  • Q: What do you call Britney Spears with 2 Braincells? A: PREGNANT!!
  • Q: What did Britney Spears name her pet zebra? A: Spot.
  • Q. Why did Britney Spears climb over the glass wall? A. To see what was on the other side.
  • Q. why did Britney get fired from burger king?A: A custumer said change for a dollar and she took her clothes off!
  • Q: Why does britney have such a big belly button?A: Her boyfreind’s are blond too!
  • Q: Why couldn’t Britney dial 911? A: She couldn’t find the 11
  • Q: What did Britney’s left leg say to her right leg?A: Nothing! They never met!
  • Q. How do you drive Britney Spears crazy? A. Give her a bag of M & M’s and tell her to alphabetize them.
  • Q: How do you drown a Britney Spears? A: Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of the pool!
  • Q: What’s the best reson to promote safe sex? A:We dont want another Britney
  • Q: Why does Britney Spears have TGIF written on her shoes?A: Toes Go In First.(Frm: Cutie Mari 25)
  • Q: What did Britney Spears say when she opened the box of Cheerios?A: Oh look, Daddy…Doughnut seeds.(Frm: Cutie Mari 25)
  • Q: Why did Britney Spears stare at the can of frozen orange juice?A: Because it said concentrate(Frm:Cuti Mari 25)
  • Q: Why did Britney die in a helicopter crash? A: She got cold and turned off the fan.(thanks to thug_girl_11_504 for the next few jokes)
  • Britney Spears saw a
  • Q: How did Britney die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her.
  • Q: How does Britney kill a worm? A: She burys it.
  • Q: Why are Britney’s boobs square? A:She forgot to take the kleenex out of the box

The Top 15 Exhibits for the Britney Spears Museum

The Top 15 Exhibits for the Britney Spears Museum

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    1. Animatronic diorama depicting Britney at 50 trashing hotel room after failing to get on “Hollywood Squares 2020″ — you’ll swear the vomit is real!
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    1. A retrospective of Christina Aguilera voodoo dolls from the Mouseketeer days to the present
    1. Mrs. Spears’ copy of “500 Annoying Names For Your New Baby, Plus Even More Annoying Alternate Spellings”, 1981 edition
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    1. Photos of Britney with the other Mouseketeers, Britney with Mickey Mouse, Britney with Donald Duck, Britney with… hey, there’s no Disney character named Fred Fleshweasel!
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    1. Pre-surgery bra made into a handy peach holder; post-surgery bra made into a handy cantaloupe holder
    1. Interactive Exhibit: The Spice Girls Virtual Kill and Maim
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    1. Collage of checks made out to dance and voice teachers, stamped “RETURNED FOR INSUFFICIENT TALENT”
    1. Directions on how to get to the museum
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    1. Britney’s vintage music collection, featuring CDs by Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and Paula Abdul
    1. Nostalgic pictures from “the old days” when her Mousketeer ears protruded farther than anything else on her body
    1. The “Oops! You Bought this Crap Again” Gift Shop
    1. Plaques of appreciation from the hand lotion, silicone and facial tissue industries
    1. The Pre-Teen Girls’ Body Image Hall of Mirrors
    1. An eerily life-like wax statue of Britney’s “friend”, Christine Aguilera, who oddly enough dropped out of sight shortly before the museum’s Grand Opening

and the Number 1 Exhibit in the Britney Spears Museum

    1. A beautifully framed copy of Britney’s first contract, on loan from Satan himself

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Britney Spears

Britney Spears

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What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed ?
Hit me baby one more time.

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Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, had a baby last week and they want to thank everyone for all the gifts they received.
Apparently, the baby has everything he will need except a father with a job.
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Britney Spears has a baby boy. They baby is doing fine, the mother is doing fine, the husband still isn’t doing anything at all.

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Britney Spears decides to go out with her two new buddies, Shaggy and Craig David. They decide to go to the mall and thus enter the elevator to descend. Suddenly, one of them farts. Shaggy: ‘It Wasn’t Me’ Craig: ‘I’m Walking Away’ Britney: ‘Oops, I Did It Again!’ Embarrassed by this predicament, Britney decides to make up for it by taking them out again. They catch a train and leave the station when, believe it or not, someone farts again. Shaggy: ‘It Wasn’t Me’ Craig: ‘I’m Walking Away’ Britney: ‘Stronger, Than Yesterday!’

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Britney Spears is in trouble because she was photographed driving with her baby sitting on her lap instead of strapped into a car seat.
Child welfare experts say this is still better for the baby than leaving it at home with Kevin Federline.

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Britney Spears’ husband, Kevin Federline, has his own rap album now. He works under the rap name, La-Z.

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Q. What do you call Britney Spears when she is upset?
A. Britney Tears

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Q: What Do Britney Spears and Barbie have in common?
A: They’re both blonde, plastic and brainless!

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Q: What did Britney’s right leg say to her left leg?
A: Nothing, they’ve never been together!!

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What do you call Britney Spears with a brain?
Pregnant (Ed. adds….Well it depends who the father is…….)

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Britney Post Pregnancy and post loser husband

Extremely Confused for some odd reason

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