Britney Spears

liquid Form Viagra

viagra

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of “cocktails”, “highballs” and just a good old-fashioned “stiff drink”. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Filed Under: All About Women, Bored Dead, Breasts, Britney Spears, SEX EDUCATION, Sexy Jokes, Viagra Tagged With: breast implants, cocktails, highballs, Pfizer Corp, stiff drink, Viagra

People who move to Arizona

This was sent to us via Carmin and we laughed so hard we had to use it. Thanks Carmin from Sedona again.

This diary of moving to Arizona has made it’s way around emails and the Internet thousands of times. I have seen so many versions for so many cities (even a snowy version for Wisconsin) that I’m sure it can no longer be attributed to any author. I certainly didn’t write it! (But one of the funniest things we have read.)

People who move to Arizona, though, can easily identify with it. You’d better read this–this could be your diary!

Arizona Diary

May 15th: Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 108 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, work in an air-conditioned office. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a real sun worshipper.

June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th: The temperature hasn’t been below 100 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it’s a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed two days of work; what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.

July 25th: Dry heat, my butt. Hot is hot! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged $250 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,600 in damn house payments and we can’t even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

August 4th: 115 degrees! Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1,200 and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate this [expletive deleted] state.

August 8th: If another wise a** cracks, “Hot enough for you today?” I’m going to tear his [expletive deleted] throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and no deodorant works well enough!

August 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny. It’s been too hot to sleep for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this barren damn desert? $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the [expletive deleted] pool. Even a cactus can’t live in this heat.

August 14th: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 120 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the [expletive deleted] windshield out of the BMW. The installer came to fix it and said, “Hot enough for you today?” My wife had to spend the $1,600 house payment to bail me out of jail.

August 30th: Worst day of the damn summer. I’m not leaving the house. The [expletive deleted] monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The BMW is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. nobody told me about staying out of the washes during a “flash flood” warning. That does it. We’re moving back to California and buying a house next to the freeway for some peace and quiet.

Filed Under: Advice, Advice columns, Britney Spears, Funny News, O' Shit Tagged With: arizona

Britney Spears My Pu$$* is hanging out

Britney Spears Tampa

Filed Under: Britney Spears Tagged With: Britney Spears

Britney Spears Pepsi Superbowl Commercial

Britney Spears Pepsi Superbowl Commercial
Britney Spears Back on top for SuperBowl with her SuperBowl Commercial.

Filed Under: Britney Spears, Superbowl Commercial Tagged With: Britney Spears, Superbowl Commercial

Britney Spears, Beyonce, Pink – We Will Rock You (Pepsi commerical)

Superbowl Commercial with Britney Spears, Beyonce and Pink…Britney Spears has really tightened up her Abs and is looking hott again

Filed Under: Britney Spears Tagged With: Beyonce, Britney Spears, Pink, superbowl, We will rock you

Britney Spears – “Womanizer”

Britney Spears – “Womanizer”
Britney Spears has finally made a perfect come back, the Britney Spears way.

Britney Spears – New Music – More Music Videos

Filed Under: Britney Spears

Britney Spears Live (Circus) Tour

Britney Spears Live (Circus)

Britney Spears Live (Circus) Tour

Filed Under: Britney Spears

Britney Spears – Womanizer video (OFFICIAL) 2008

Britney Spears

Filed Under: Britney Spears Tagged With: Britney Spears

Britney Spears Womanizer

Britney Spears – Womanizer
Sexy Britney Spears, has another hit and looks better then ever!

Filed Under: Britney Spears Tagged With: Britney Spears

Britney Spears- Piece of me pics

A very good compilation of pop star Britney Spears (Piece of me) music. Britney Spears pic’s.

Filed Under: Britney Spears

How Shit Happens

In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Plan was without substance.

And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

And the workers spoke among themselves, saying, “This is crock of shit, and it stinks.”

And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said, “It is a pail of dung, and we can’t live with the smell.”

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, “It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.”

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”

And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another, “It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong.”

And the Directors went to the Vice Presidents, saying unto them, “It promotes growth, and it is very powerful..”

And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, “This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with very powerful effects.”

And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became Policy.

And that, my friends, is how shit happens.

Filed Under: Advice, Bored Dead, Britney Spears, Interesting, SEX EDUCATION Tagged With: Shit Happens

WHY VIBRATORS ARE BETTER THAN REAL SEX

- Vibrators don’t have problems with gas … Nor do they hog the remote … Nor the computer!

- We can get a bigger one or one that has better options whenever we want without being called a slut.

- Vibrators never go limp and rubbery, you simply replace the batteries when it tires.

- Position is your choice, not his.

- You don’t have to suck it.

- It works “while” the sports games are on.

- It always is hard.

- It doesn’t leave a mess behind.

- You don’t have to wear an ill fitting teddy to excite it.

- It doesn’t care that you gained 10 lbs.

- It doesn’t fall asleep and snore in your ear afterwards.

- You don’t have to clean up the apartment before bringing it home.

- You don’t have to cook it breakfast and pretend to be interested in it the next morning.

- You can throw them in a drawer and only take them out when you want to!

- They don’t get tired after the first time.

- They never poke you in the back in the morning to see if you are in the mood.

- They never drink too much and embarrass you.

- You don’t have to tell the vibrator he’s the best you ever had!

- Vibrators don’t prematurely ejaculate.

- Safe sex without a rubber.

- Vibrators don’t ask who your Daddy is.

- Vibrators last as long as YOU want them to last.

- You don’t have to put up with the shit, just turn it off when you get done with it !

- As long as you have a new pack of energizers the vibrator can keep going and going and going!

- Vibrators do what you want them to do at ALL times!

- Vibrators are portable so you can do it anytime anywhere you want!!

- They never ask how they were.

- They don’t burp, fart, belch or fall asleep on you.

- You don’t have to dress up for your vibrator.

- You don’t have to stroke its ego.

- They never wake up at 4 a.m. asking for another get-go.

- It doesn’t leave a wet spot.

- You can carry it with you at all times, and not feel obligated to feed it.

- It doesn’t require “a little lip action” to get hard

- It has no problem finding the “g spot.”

- You know exactly where its been.

- Vibrators don’t care if you get crumbs in the bed.

Filed Under: Advice, Advice columns, All About Women, Better To Be Female, Bored Dead, Britney Spears, Girl talk Tagged With: bikini, Bored Dead, girls, positions, safe sex, VIBRATORS

Britney Spears Jokes part 2

What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed ?
Hit me baby one more time.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, had a baby last week and they want to thank everyone for all the gifts they received.
Apparently, the baby has everything he needs except a father with a job.

Britney Spears had a baby boy. They baby is doing fine, the mother is doing fine, the husband still isn’t doing anything at all.

Britney Spears decides to go out with her two new buddies, Shaggy and Craig David. They decide to go to the mall and thus enter the elevator to descend. Suddenly, one of them farts. Shaggy: ‘It Wasn’t Me’ Craig: ‘I’m Walking Away’ Britney: ‘Oops, I Did It Again!’ Embarrassed by this predicament, Britney decides to make up for it by taking them out again. They catch a train and leave the station when, believe it or not, someone farts again. Shaggy: ‘It Wasn’t Me’ Craig: ‘I’m Walking Away’ Britney: ‘Stronger, Than Yesterday!’

Britney Spears is in trouble because she was photographed driving with her baby sitting on her lap instead of strapped into a car seat.
Child welfare experts say this is still better for the baby than leaving it at home with Kevin Federline.

Britney Spears’ husband, Kevin Federline, has his own rap album now. He works under the rap name, La-Z.

Britney Spears, Usher and the Black Eyed Peas were all in an elevator. Someone farted.
Usher said ‘ Its my confessions. I didnt do it’

Black Eyed Pea’s said ‘Didnt come out of my hump’ and Britney Spears said ‘Oops I did it again’ then they all got off and thats how Britney Spears lost all popularity she ever had.