Halloween
Top 10 Halloween Phrases That Sound Dirty
October 28, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
10. She’s a goblin!
9. I’d like to get a little something in the sack.
8. Let me see your bag….OH! You’re having a great night!
7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
6. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
5. If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.
4. Show me [...]
HALLOWEEN DICTIONARY
October 28, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Bobbing Apples: What happens when you leave your bra off while running.
Boogieman: Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.
Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.
Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.
Full moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your [...]
Why Pumpkins are better than Men
October 27, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Why Pumpkins are better than Men
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to
greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep [...]
Your Halloween Survival Guide
October 26, 2006 by Jeff · 1 Comment
Your Halloween Survival Guide
*When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it’s really dead.
*If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetary, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, [...]
20 WAYS TO CONFUSE TRICK-OR-TREATERS
October 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
20 WAYS TO CONFUSE TRICK-OR-TREATERS
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at [...]
*THE PROS & CONS OF DATING A VAMPIRE*
October 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
THE PROS & CONS OF DATING A
VAMPIRE*
Pro
———–
Long relationships
Allowed to stay out late
Easy weight loss
Centuries of experience
Immune to all diseases
Always has amazing stamina
Loves neck nibbling
Rarely interested in arguing religion
Never comes home with garlic breath
Doesn’t snore; sleeps like the dead
Con
———–
You always feel tired (loss of blood)
Kissing can be lethal
Monogamy is a problem
Always has cold [...]
TOP 10 COMPLAINTS OF MODERN-DAY VAMPIRES
October 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
TOP 10 COMPLAINTS OF MODERN-DAY VAMPIRES
10. Grunge look makes it tough to
tell living from undead.
9. Three words: Daylight Savings
Time
8. Can’t enjoy a meal at BURGER
KING without some redneck
yelling, “Look…it’s Elvis!!”
7. After 45 years of Communist
rule, [...]
Trick Or treat The Boreddead.com way
October 23, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your
balanceand fall over.
6. People say, “Great [...]
