Asian
If an Asian girl was really Asian, she…
February 18, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
be wearing platforms
be wearing flares
has one of those fake-ass voices on the phone
carries a big-ass purse
carries hella pictures of her homies in the purse
knows everybody in town
thinks she knows about cars, but really don’t
always be [...]
Way’s of Asian’s
February 15, 2008 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1. You love to go to $1.75 movies.
2. You love to go to $1.50 movies even more!
3. You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
4. You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.
5. You can get a buzz on Coors [...]
Small Towns
July 10, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Small Towns
The US is full of small towns. For those never having traveled to or lived in one, the following will illustrate pretty much what life’s like there.
My hometown was so small…
* the clinic was called Joe’s Hospital and Grill
* long distance calls are delayed when the area code is busy
* the town Lady [...]
You know you’re Asian if…
November 12, 2006 by Jeff · 1 Comment
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
Your dad is some sort of engineer
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15
You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they’re still lecturing
You have a 40 lb. bag of [...]
You Know You’re Japanese American If:
October 31, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1. You know that Camp doesn�t mean a cabin in the woods.
2. The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers.
3. The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic [...]
Japanese Hooker
September 20, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her.
She kept screaming “Fujifoo, Fujifoo!!!”, which the guy took to be pleasurable.
The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said “Fujifoo”. [...]
A businessman was in Japan
September 1, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A businessman was in Japan to make a presentation to the Toyota motor people. Needless to say, this was an especially important deal, and it was imperative that he make the best possible impression. On the morning of the presentation he awoke to find himself passing gas, in large volumes, with the unpleasant characteristic of [...]
Ways to be a perfect asian
August 30, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Ways to be a perfect asian
Wear clothes of two colors: your choice of black or white.
Own an alphanumeric pager with a built in answering machine.
Own a cellular phone.
Have only Asian friends.
Speak only in Asian languages.
Dress as though you’re headed for a party when you’re actually going to
class.
If you’re a girl, BE SURE TO STUFF YOUR [...]
Top Reasons Why Asian Girls Hate Asian Guys
August 29, 2006 by Jeff · 2 Comments
Top Reasons Why Asian Girls Hate Asian Guys
All you wannabes always talk about cars and how you want to fix it up and race and shit, but you don’t even got a car! you just be driving your mama’s Honda accord with your GOT RICE sticker on the bumper
You always wear the same shit on [...]
50 ways you know you have been in Korea to long
August 26, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
You are immune to the smell of “the kimchi breath.”
You no longer come to a complete stop at the stop sign and you never yield the right-of-way.
You can pick up a single strand of noodles with chopsticks.
You ask for more “ko-chu” because the kimchi-chige soup is not hot enough.
You enjoy slurping your noodles as loudly [...]
50 ways you know you might be married to a Korean
August 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
You own two refrigerators, and one is just used for storing Kimchee.
She gets upset if you refer to the above as the Kimchee Box.
She gets upset if you put anything other than Kimchee in the Kimchee Box.
She lacks common sense, or for the politically correct: Faulty Logic.
You have more than one type of Kimchee.
She assures [...]
