Classes for men at your local adult learning center

Author: admin  //  Category: Advice, Are You Normal, Bored Dead, Free Speed Test, Sexy Jokes, Woman’s Dictionary

Classes for men at your local adult learning center

Sign up now!

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Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.

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Topic 1 – How to fill up the ice cube trays.
A step by step guide, with slide presentation for men only.

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Topic 2 – The toilet paper roll: do they grow on the holders?
Round table discussion.

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Topic 3 – Is it possible to urinate using the technique of lifting the seat up and avoiding the floor/walls and nearby bathtub?
Group practice.

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Topic 4 – Fundamental differences between the laundry hamper and the floor.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

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Topic 5 – The after-dinner dishes and silverware: can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink?
Examples on video.

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Topic 6 – Loss of identity: losing the remote to your significant other.
Helpline support and support groups.

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Topic 7 – Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open forum.

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Topic 8 – Health watch: bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health.
Graphics and audio tape.

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Topic 9 – Real men ask for directions when lost.
Real life testimonials.

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Topic 10 – Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly as she parallel parks?
Driving simulation.

Topic 11 – Learning to live: basic differences between mother and wife.
Online class and role playing.

Topic 12 – How to be the ideal shopping companion.
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques.

Topic 13 – How to fight cerebral atrophy: remembering birthdays, anniversaries, other important dates and calling when you’re going to be late.
Cerebral shock therapy sessions and full lobotomies offered.

**Upon completion of the course diplomas will be issued to the survivors.**

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Are you normal?

Author: admin  //  Category: "PERSONAL" ADVERTISEMENTS, Are You Normal, Bored Dead, Compatibility Test

Are you normal?

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- Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
- 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
- Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
- 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
- 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
- 91% lie regularly, so you can just throw away statistics like these based on their answers *grin*
- 27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.

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- 29% admit they’ve intentionally stolen something from a store.
- 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
- 90% believe in divine retribution (but apparently not for lying)
- 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.

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- 82% believe in an afterlife.
- 45% believe in ghosts.
- 13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail.

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- 29% are virgins when they marry.
- 58.4% have called into work sick when we weren’t.
- 10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item.

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- Over 50% believe in spanking – but only a child over 2 years old.
- 35% give to charity at least once a month.
- How far would you go for $10 million? 25% would abandon their friends, family, and church. 7% would murder.

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- 69% eat the cake before the frosting.
- When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
- Snickers is the most popular candy.

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- 22% of us skip lunch daily.
- 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
- 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.

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- Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
- 45% use mouthwash every day.
- 22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
- The typical shower is 101 degrees F.

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- Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.
- 9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery.
- 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
- 58% of women paint their nails regularly.

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- 33% of women lie about their weight.
- 10% claim to have seen a ghost.
- 57% have had deja vu.
- 49% believe in ESP.
- 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.

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- 44% have broken a bone.
- 14% have attended a self-help meeting.
- 15% regularly go to a shrink.
- 78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home.
- 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they’ve used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up. What’s up?

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- 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
- 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
- 28.1% pee in the pool. Think about that next time you go swimming!
- 39% of us peek in our host’s bathroom cabinet. 17% have been caught by the host… whoops, “uh.. just looking for the uh…”
- 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip it (his pants).

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- 71.6% of us eavesdrop.
- 22% are functionally illiterate. [Reminds me of the lady who said, "My son ain't illiterate. We was married two weeks before he was born!"]
- Less than 10% are trilingual.
- 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.

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- 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
- 56% of women do the bills in a marriage.
- 2 out of 3 of us wouldn’t give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks. Now, make it TWO million and half the night… : )
- 20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life.
- 40% of us have had music lessons.

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- 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch.
- 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
- 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary, mostly men, (and they say statistics don’t lie. See 91% Americans lie regularly for details. Yeah, we know the rest of you men just
have wives who TELL you the anniversary is coming up!)
- 59% of us say we’re average-looking.
- Blacks are more than twice as likely to call themselves beautiful.
- 90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.

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- 53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.
- 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.
- 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
- On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
- 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.
- 2 out of 5 have married their first love.
- The biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money.
- Only 4% asked the parents’ approval for their bride’s hand.
- 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
- 6% propose over the phone, [but that includes only of those who were accepted over the phone, not those who were hung up on]
- 71% can drive a stick-shift car.
- 45% of us consistantly follow the speed limit. [Must be the over 55 crowd : ) ]
- 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.
- 1/3 of us don’t wear seat belts.
- 12% of men never use their car blinkers.
- 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.
- 25% drive after they’ve been drinking.
- 4 out of 5 sing in the car.
- 1 in 3 have had an extramarital affair.
- 62% think there is nothing wrong with affairs