5 NUNS IN A BAR

Author: admin  //  Category: Beer, Funny Pics

5 NUNS IN A BAR
Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa , Katherine Marie, Rose Frances
and Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick’s
Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in
July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was
making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire’s Pub for a cold soft drink.

Patty had recently added special legs to his barstools, which were
the talk of the fashionable eastside neighborhood..
All 5 Nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when
Monsignor Riley and Father McGinty entered the bar through the front
door They, too, came for a cold drink when they were shocked and
almost fainted at what they saw.

Dear Mr. President Obama

Author: admin  //  Category: President Obama
Dear President Obama

obama

Dear Mr. President Obama, U. S. Senate and Congress:

I’m planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my husband’s health, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We’re planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico , and we’ll need your help to make a few arrangements..

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I’m sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I’m on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. All Mexico government forms, printed in Spanish, need to also be printed in English.

4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico , but, I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I, probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say a critical thing about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. And finally, please be sure to remind him and his staff, that they need to instruct the local Wal-Mart stores that they MUST have an entire section devoted to American foods, and that all product labels on every item at Wal-Mart must also be printed in English.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. from Mexico . I am sure that President Calderon won’t mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind