August 2007
Men are like…….
August 29, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Men are like…….
…..Placemats.
They only show up when there’s food on the table.
…..Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
.
…..Bike helmets.
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
..
…..Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
..
…..Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
…..Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
…..Bank accounts.
Without [...]
Mercedes Maybach
August 23, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
The car pictured in this note is a Mercedes Maybach. Notice the “recliner” rear seats, and the “electrostatic” sunroof. The sunroof turns from opaque to crystal clear depending on the passengers preference.
.
NOW, STOP DREAMING AND GET
BACK TO WORK!! (BE HAPPY
WITH WHAT YOU’VE GOT)!
Grid Iron NFL Jokes
August 19, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Grid Iron NFL Jokes
NFL, Grid Iron, American Football. Call it what you want, but I’m calling it American Football in this site, so here are a bunch of funny jokes for America’s favorite game!
—
Q: What’s the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a [...]
Pregnancy and Birth – F.A.Q.
August 15, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Pregnancy and Birth – F.A.Q.
Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs ?
A: You’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all
Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth [...]
Top Ten Reasons You Know If You Have PMS
August 13, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Top Ten Reasons You Know If You Have PMS
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelette.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. Your using your cellular phone to dial up every bumpersticker that says, [...]
Michael Vick
August 10, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Michael Vick and peta
Things It Takes a Long Time For Guys To Learn
August 9, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Things It Takes a Long Time For Guys To Learn
1. Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
2. Women don’t try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don’t fall asleep afterwards.
3. Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, ‘How [...]
Modern Medical Terms
August 6, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
St Mom’s Wort
This is a plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
EmptyNestrogen
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out.
Peptobimbo
This is a liquid silicone for single women. Two full [...]
What I Want In A Man, ORIGINAL List
August 5, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
What I Want In A Man, ORIGINAL List
———————————–
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover
What I Want In A Man, REVISED List
———————————-
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch [...]
Men
August 2, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Why don’t men wear tight underwear?
It cuts off circulation to the brain!
Why do men have broad shoulders and big foreheads?
When you ask them a question, they shrug their shoulders and say, “I don’t know.”
When you tell them the answer, they slap their foreheads and say, “Ohhhhhh.”
Why are vibrators better than men?
Because they never screw other [...]
