July 2007
Why Parents Drink
July 31, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to “Dad.” With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear [...]
Michael Vick Jokes
July 28, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Michael Vick Jokes
KIMMEL (Last Night):
Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has been indicted for organizing pitbull fights at his house, and he’s in a lot of trouble. He could do six years in prison. Whatever happens, the one thing they’ve decided, “Who Let the Dogs Out†is definitely off the play list.
LENO(Wednesday): [...]
Classes for men at your local adult learning center
July 27, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Classes for men at your local adult learning center
Sign up now!
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants.
Topic 1 – How to fill up the ice cube trays.
A step by step guide, with slide presentation for men only.
Topic 2 – [...]
2007 NFL Football schedules maybe, but a lot of short takes
July 25, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
2007 NFL Football schedules maybe, but a lot of short takes
Our offensive line was so good that even our backs couldn’t get through it.
Football is a game of inches, and that’s how some teams move the ball.
As John Madden says, “If [...]
Ways To Annoy Osama Bin Laden and his terrorist friends
July 24, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Ways To Annoy Osama Bin Laden and his terrorist friends
Point out the lice in his beard to make him feel self-conscious.
Pause for a moment, listen carefully, and say, “Doesn’t that sound a lot like a B-52?”
Ask him if he’s looking forward to replacing Hitler as Satan’s favorite chew toy in the lowest inferno of Hell.
Tell [...]
Rules for Life
July 23, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Rules for Life
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called life. Each day in this school, you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. [...]
100 Reasons to be Gay
July 18, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
100 Reasons to be Gay
1. You truly don’t care who Julia Roberts is sleeping with.
2. You understand the difference between 43 brands of imported vodka.
3. You can call anyone “honey” including pets.
4. You know someone who definitely was in the emergency room with Richard Gere and the gerbil.
5. You understand the immense importance of good [...]
You Might be a pot head if…
July 17, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
You might be a pot head if…
1.) you wear sun glasses at night so you can see better
2.) you have acctually put out a fire with bong water
3.) the term “hydro” does not mean water
4.) you have an usual parking space outside your local head shop
5.) you have a name for your [...]
Top 10 Ways to get Drunk for Five Dollars or Less
July 16, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Top 10 Ways to get Drunk for Five Dollars or Less
Top 10 Ways to get Drunk for Five Dollars or Less
Number 10. Be a frosh (freshman).
It’s not true that every frosh can be knocked into unconsciousness by waving a tom collins under their nose, but as those of us who go hunting for frosh on [...]
Modern Horoscope
July 14, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Modern Horoscope
Aquarius (Jan 23 – Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.
Pieces (Feb 23 – Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. [...]
You are a child of the 80’s If…
July 12, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
You are a child of the 80’s If…
*You know what a “burnout” is.
*You owned/operated a ‘Trapper Keeper’
*You know what “Psych” means.
*Once, while spending hours in the arcade, you actually lined up quarters on the top panel of the game — to “reserve” your spot.
*You know the profound meaning of “Wax on, Wax off”.
*You [...]
Good Advertising
July 12, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Good Advertising, Great creativity
E-mail us At (Admin@BoredDead.com) to submit you own pics .
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Small Towns
July 10, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Small Towns
The US is full of small towns. For those never having traveled to or lived in one, the following will illustrate pretty much what life’s like there.
My hometown was so small…
* the clinic was called Joe’s Hospital and Grill
* long distance calls are delayed when the area code is busy
* the town Lady [...]
Are you normal?
July 9, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Are you normal?
- Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils.
- 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
- Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
- 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
- 3 out of 4 [...]
New Remote
July 9, 2007 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
