November 2006
(Politically Correct)’Twas The Night Before Christmas’
November 30, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
‘Twas The Night Before Christmas’ (Politically Correct)
‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck…
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”.
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle [...]
Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Christmas, But Aren’t
November 29, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
10. Did you get any under the tree?
9. I think your balls are hanging too low.
8. Check out Rudolph’s Honker!
7. Santa’s sack is really bulging.
6. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.
5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
4. I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy.
3. [...]
Why a Christmas Tree is better then a Man
November 28, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1. A Christmas tree is always erect.
2. Even small ones give satisfaction.
3. A Christmas tree stays up for 12 days and nights.
4. A Christmas tree always looks good – even with the lights on.
5. A Christmas tree is always happy with its size.
6. A Christmas tree has cute balls.
7. A Christmas tree doesn’t get mad [...]
Grinch Quiz
November 26, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
How to Tell if You’re a Grinch
This is a set of essential personality tests to prepare you misfit readers for Christmas and your New Year’s resolutions:
1. You reuse last year’s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name (5 points).
2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor’s outdoor display to replenish your [...]
Sweatshirts
November 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A girl goes into the doctor’s office for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he’s so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard [...]
Day After ThanksGiving Sales
November 22, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Check out these great deals, onsale now somewhere.
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All perfect for the Holiday season Gift giving frenzy
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Black Friday
November 21, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Black Friday sales form all consumers, Just what you were looking for on Black Friday Super sales
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What a Woman Wants in a Man
November 18, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
What I Want In A Man, Original List … (at age 22)
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1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover What I Want In A Man,
Revised List … (at age 32)
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1. Nice Looking – preferably with hair [...]
ebay
November 17, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
The funny things you see on ebay, Click below
New condom Adds
November 15, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty at Thanksgiving…
November 15, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Top Ten Things that Sound Dirty
at Thanksgiving …
10. “Just reach in and grab the giblets.”
9. “Whew…that’s one terrific spread!”
8. “I am in the mood for a little dark meat!”
7. “Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.”
6. “Talk about a HUGE breast!”
5. “And he forces his way into the end zone!”
4. “She’s [...]
Ten Reasons Thanksgiving Dinner is Better than Sex
November 14, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Ten Reasons Thanksgiving Dinner is Better than Sex
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10. You’re sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.
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9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.
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8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.
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7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.
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6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or
without [...]
Downside to Happy Hour
November 13, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
You lose arguments with inanimate objectsÂ
Your job is interfering with your drinking. Â
-Youre doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. -Career won’t progress beyond the court. Â
-You sincerely believe alcohol to be to elusive 5th food group. -Two hands and just one mouth – becoming a huge problem.  [...]
You know you’re Asian if…
November 12, 2006 by Jeff · 1 Comment
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm
Your dad is some sort of engineer
Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15
You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2 hours later they’re still lecturing
You have a 40 lb. bag of [...]
T-Shirt Slogans for Girls
November 12, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
2) I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4) Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
5) I used to have a handle on life, but it [...]
