Why Pumpkins are better than Men
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to
greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep [...]
Your Halloween Survival Guide
*When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it’s really dead.
*If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetary, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, [...]
20 WAYS TO CONFUSE TRICK-OR-TREATERS
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at [...]
THE PROS & CONS OF DATING A
VAMPIRE*
Pro
———–
Long relationships
Allowed to stay out late
Easy weight loss
Centuries of experience
Immune to all diseases
Always has amazing stamina
Loves neck nibbling
Rarely interested in arguing religion
Never comes home with garlic breath
Doesn’t snore; sleeps like the dead
Con
———–
You always feel tired (loss of blood)
Kissing can be lethal
Monogamy is a problem
Always has cold [...]
TOP 10 COMPLAINTS OF MODERN-DAY VAMPIRES
10. Grunge look makes it tough to
tell living from undead.
9. Three words: Daylight Savings
Time
8. Can’t enjoy a meal at BURGER
KING without some redneck
yelling, “Look…it’s Elvis!!”
7. After 45 years of Communist
rule, [...]
