October 2006
You Know You’re Japanese American If:
October 31, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1. You know that Camp doesn�t mean a cabin in the woods.
2. The men in your family were gardeners, farmers or produce workers.
3. The women in your family were seamstresses, domestic [...]
The Husband Store
October 30, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the [...]
Life’s Thuth’s
October 29, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
I bought my wife a new car.
She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.”
I said, “Where’s the car?”
She said, “In the lake.”
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months [...]
Top 10 Halloween Phrases That Sound Dirty
October 28, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
10. She’s a goblin!
9. I’d like to get a little something in the sack.
8. Let me see your bag….OH! You’re having a great night!
7. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
6. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
5. If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.
4. Show me [...]
HALLOWEEN DICTIONARY
October 28, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Bobbing Apples: What happens when you leave your bra off while running.
Boogieman: Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.
Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.
Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.
Full moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your [...]
Why Pumpkins are better than Men
October 27, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Why Pumpkins are better than Men
1. Every year you get a brand new crop to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins are always ready to
greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep [...]
Your Halloween Survival Guide
October 26, 2006 by Jeff · 1 Comment
Your Halloween Survival Guide
*When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it’s really dead.
*If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetary, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, [...]
20 WAYS TO CONFUSE TRICK-OR-TREATERS
October 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
20 WAYS TO CONFUSE TRICK-OR-TREATERS
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at [...]
*THE PROS & CONS OF DATING A VAMPIRE*
October 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
THE PROS & CONS OF DATING A
VAMPIRE*
Pro
———–
Long relationships
Allowed to stay out late
Easy weight loss
Centuries of experience
Immune to all diseases
Always has amazing stamina
Loves neck nibbling
Rarely interested in arguing religion
Never comes home with garlic breath
Doesn’t snore; sleeps like the dead
Con
———–
You always feel tired (loss of blood)
Kissing can be lethal
Monogamy is a problem
Always has cold [...]
TOP 10 COMPLAINTS OF MODERN-DAY VAMPIRES
October 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
TOP 10 COMPLAINTS OF MODERN-DAY VAMPIRES
10. Grunge look makes it tough to
tell living from undead.
9. Three words: Daylight Savings
Time
8. Can’t enjoy a meal at BURGER
KING without some redneck
yelling, “Look…it’s Elvis!!”
7. After 45 years of Communist
rule, [...]
How much are you worth ?
October 24, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
This is just something for fun….. D on’t cheat this was too funny!The more dirt you’ve done, the higher you’re worth !!!!
Okay so here’s the deal, you look it over and see how many of these
things you have done, BUT you have to add up the money amount along the
way.
The total is [...]
Trick Or treat The Boreddead.com way
October 23, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating
10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your
balanceand fall over.
6. People say, “Great [...]
The Blonde in First Class
October 22, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in [...]
10 reasons to date a Dancer
October 21, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1. we’re always open to new moves & positions
2. we perform to please the crowd
3. we love an audience
4. we’re very flexible
5. we show off our legs
6. we’re tight…physically fit
7. we’re seductive
8. we like being videotaped to improve ourselves
9. we work hard to get things just right
10. we do what we’re told
11. we enjoy doing [...]
27 Facts About Men
October 21, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. Men who have tattoos think they have a piece of artwork on them. Yeah, like a flaming skull is art?
4. Men are very confident people. My husband [...]
