September 2006
INTERNATIONAL DATING GUIDE CAUCASIAN WOMAN
September 30, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
INTERNATIONAL DATING GUIDE CAUCASIAN WOMAN: First date: You get to kiss her good night. Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea. JAPANESE WOMAN: First date: She’s shy, so [...]
10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN
September 29, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
10 REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN
(and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”)
9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You are one Jurassic geezer.)
8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid [...]
DICTIONARY OF DATING DATING:
September 29, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
DICTIONARY OF DATING DATING:
The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future. EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man. [...]
Quick Thinking Female
September 27, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A couple went on vacation to a resort up north. The husband liked to fish, and the wife liked to read. One morning the husband came back from fishing after getting up really early that morning and took a nap. While he slept, the wife decided to take the boat out.
She [...]
Cheese sandwich
September 27, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: – $1.50.
Chicken Sandwich: – $2.50.
Hand Job: – $10.00.
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group [...]
SIGNS YOU’VE HAD A BAD DATE WITH A GIRL
September 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
SIGNS YOU’VE HAD A BAD DATE WITH A GIRL
* Not only is she a little young, but you’re sure that you used to date her mother.
* You find out her real name is Brandon, and you used to play little league with her.
* She has a thicker mustache than you.
* When you go to pick [...]
A Womans Humor
September 25, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A woman was trying to do her laundry one day, when her washing machine suddenly broke down. Distraught, she called her husband at the office and said, “Honey, can you please come home and fix the washing machine? It doesn’t work.” The angry husband replied, “What do I look like? The freakin’ Maytag man?” and [...]
Sorority Girls
September 22, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
About 40 lbs.
How do you equalize the two?
Feed the elephant.
What’s the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
Introduce herself.
Walks home.
What’s the difference between a sorority girl [...]
Application To Date My Daughter
September 22, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
(REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME)NOTE – This application will be Incomplete and rejected [...]
Are you in Love, Lust or Just married
September 21, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
LOVE………………….when your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST…………………..when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE…………when your belt won’t meet around your waist, and you don’t care.
LOVE………………….when intercourse is called making love.
LUST…………………..all other times.
MARRIAGE…………what’s intercourse?
LOVE………………….when you argue over how many children to have.
LUST…………………..when you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE…………when you argue over [...]
A Newly Weds. Brides Scoreboard
September 21, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
Normal Duties
(NOTE: The score of “0” means it was expected of him)
————
* You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty-liners with wings: +5
* But return with beer: -5
* You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing: 0
* You check out a suspicious noise and [...]
A Guide for Men of Woman
September 20, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A MAN’S GUIDE TO WHAT A WOMAN ARE REALLY SAYING:
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
…. without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven’t had a fight in a while.
NO, PIZZA’S FINE.
…. you cheap slob!
I JUST DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.
I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU [...]
Japanese Hooker
September 20, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
An American businessman was in Japan. He hired a local hooker and was going at it all night with her.
She kept screaming “Fujifoo, Fujifoo!!!”, which the guy took to be pleasurable.
The next day, he was golfing with his Japanese counterparts and he got a hole-in-one. Wanting to impress the clients, he said “Fujifoo”. [...]
Stay at Home Wives
September 20, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.
She opens it to a guy, “Hi, is Tony home?”
The wife replies, “No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want.”
So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says “You know Sara, [...]
Who Enjoys Sex More ” Men or Women”
September 19, 2006 by Jeff · Leave a Comment
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, “Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?”
“That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered.
“Think about this…when your ear itches and you put [...]
