Bored Dead

20 REASONS WHY A QUICKIE BEATS MARATHON SEX

marathon-sex.jpg1. No repetitive-stress injuries.

2. Knocks out insomnia faster than two tabs of Tylenol PM and a Bud tallboy.

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3. Two words: less sweat.

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4. On deadline? No problem!

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5. Saves on batteries.

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6. No guilt associated with sayin

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gee, “I think it’s time for you to go home now.”

7. Two more words: stress reduction.

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8. Makes for an interesting elevator ride.

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9. Won’t ruin your lipstick.

10. Great way to kill time while stuck in traffic on the way to the beach (if you don’t mind rubberneckers).

11. Sometimes you just don’t want your toes sucked.

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12. You don’t have to worry about remembering your partner’s name.

13. Performance anxiety? What’s that?

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14. It’s something to do while talking to your parents on the phone.

15. Doesn’t give you enough time to notice he or she smells bad.

16. You don’t have to suffer the embarrassment of having an orgasm in front of someone you hardly know.

17. You can have your after-sex cig in the cab. That is, after having sex in the cab.

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18. A line doesn’t form outside the bathroom at the party.

19. Dinner doesn’t get cold.

20. Pillow talk? What’s that!

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